The Virgin Queen: Part The First

[sophieisgod]

PICSPAM TIME! And be warned, this is an uber-spam. The topic is the 2005 BBC drama The Virgin Queen, starring Anne-Marie Duff as Elizabeth I. Featured awesome includes Tom Hardy, Kevin McKidd, Ian Hart and Dexter Fletcher. There are many, many, many pictures under the cut, because Tom Hardy is far too sexy for his own good.

This one's for darkangsty42. Try not to explode!


This is Elizabeth. She's stressed out because her sister is a little... edgy right now.


This is her praying with her two maids, Kat Ashley and Lettice Knollys. They do that a lot, because there isn't much else to do... IN PRISON!


This is Dexter Fletcher. He hangs around, just being awesome. Look at his hair!


This is William Cecil, played by PROFESSOR QUIRRELL! But it's okay, he's not evil in this. He is also awesome.


This is Queen Mary. She's a leetle paranoid.


She thoughtfully has Elizabeth confined in the Tower.


Look! Dexter Fletcher's face is so cool!


Aha! Now here we have Robert Dudley, played by the sextasmic Tom Hardy. He has the power to make you explode from lust, so be warned...




Elizabeth, because she has ovaries, is impressed.




Oh look, it's Bryan Dick, randomly being executed! *waves*


Grrr, look at him, being all hot in the shadows.




Elizabeth gets stressed out some more about the whole... prisoner thing.


She expresses her rage through vandalism.


But then Mary dies, so she's totally the queen!


She immediately surrounds herself with her friends...


... And also, Dexter Fletcher, because he is awesome.


Ooh, look, it's Kevin McKidd! He is the Duke of Norfolk. Why is Norfolk ALWAYS sexy? It's very distracting.


It is obvious that he is HOT, but it is also obvious that Norfolk is an ARSE, because he PUSHES DEXTER FLETCHER OUT OF THE WAY!


He grovels a wee bit...




... But Bess isn't biting.


BURN


And now, A Hot Elizabeth/Robert Scene. There are a few of these coming up, so get used to it.






These two are very good at putting their heads close together in a sexy manner.


See?




LOOK AT THE EARRING. *dies*




Oh, she's such a badass.


And now a little something I like to call Men In Ruffs.








Coronation time! Anointing and so forth...




Ohh, man. I covet this crown so hard. Not in a lust-for-power way, but it's got, like, really big rubies on it.


Norfolk seems unimpressed. And also sexy.


SHE'S THE FUCKING QUEEN, YO


You know what's not particularly regal? Having eyesex with a courtier at your coronation.




It is understandable, though.




You know what's a good way to open an episode? Sweaty Tennis. Sweaty Tennis played by hot men. You know what's difficult to screencap? Sweaty Tennis.








The Sweaty Tennis pleases Elizabeth.


Norfolk? Not so much. He reckons Robert is overly familiar...


He kind of has a point, because Robert puts his hand right in Elizabeth's lap.


Mmm, sweaty men.


Ohh, sweaty men. Why must you fight?








Elizabeth is bemused. And a little turned on.


COMPLETELY GRATUITOUS CROTCH SHOT


Robert has a surprise for Elizabeth.


He totally pins it to her boob.




Lettice is not impressed.


Random face of magnificence:


Uh-oh! Lettice covets the hanky o' Dudley.


Uh-oh! Robert is doing vaguely dirty things with his hands in public!


Bess is not impressed.


Robbie is baffled.


Shouting ensues.


Surprisingly, this move fails to win the argument.


Aww, but she loves him really! She keeps him in a box!




Meanwhile, the men in ruffs have marriage in mind.


Elizabeth watche Robert play some Sweaty Tennis. It's rather hot. It's even hotter when you can hear the grunting.








Uh-oh! This is Robert's wife. She's really pale and sickly looking. They are not hot.


He is sort of sweetly concerned about her, though. Sort of.




And now, the dream sequence they put in the trailers to make it look like Elizabeth and Robert had sex!










See? FAKEOUT!


Lettice is not impressed.


Had you forgotten about Awesome Cecil? Because he's still here, he's still awesome, and he has marriage suggestions!


Elizabeth is not impressed.


It's another one of those Elizabeth/Robert scenes! One of the ones with the heads close together!






*guh*








SEXY HAND KISSING




Lettice is not impressed.


Pale, sickly wife is still pale and sickly, just so you know.


Look! Robbie's earring has been upgraded to a Colin-Firth style pimp Tudor pearl!






Walsingham, or, Finn-from-Cutting It. He's not as cool as Geoffrey Rush.


Prospective Marriage Candiate's Ambassador turns up.


Dexter Fletcher is still awesome!


Kevin McKidd is still foxy!


Pale, Sickly Wife now has a creepy lump on her neck!


AND THEN ELIZABETH AND ROBERT DO SEXY DANCING
















Austrian Guy and Lettice are not impressed.


Elizabeth is flushed.


Kat tells Bess to get over Robbie, sharpish.




Lettice is listening at the door, of course.


I really want her dressing gown.


Uh-oh!


Pale, Sicky Wife just killed herself!


While this is obviously terribly sad, it has unexpected benefits. This is a little something I like to call Sexy Rain Grief.






Men In Ruffs 2: The Revenge






So, Widower!Robbie now sees no reason why he can't marry the love of his life/the queen....


(LEATHERPANTS!)


Elizabeth, however, has other ideas. And you know what that means... ANOTHER SCENE WITH HEADS CLOSE TOGETHER. You know you love it.










HOMG KISSING!!!


But then, there was shouting.








Uh-oh!




Shit...


Worst. Break-up. Ever.


Robert gets named Lord Protector while she's on her deathbed... He does enjoy sitting on the Pimp Throne.


Doesn't last long, though, because she totally recovers...


... And then she totally verbally bitch-slaps Parliament.




ELIZABETH FTW!!!


Robbie: "Shit."


Look! It's Ewan Bremmer! He's Scottish! Mary, Queen of Scots wants to marry some guy and threaten Elizabeth's throne!


Elizabeth does not think this idea is great. Instead, she thinks Robbie should marry Mary!


Robbie is not impressed.




So, she makes him Earl Of Leicester.


Meep! Tender hair touching...


Uh-oh! Someone's been doing treason!


Uh-oh! It's Norfolk!








Farewell, Kevin McKidd. You made this picspam a sweatier, sexier place. Maybe one day, if I ever picspam Rome, we shall meet again. For now, goodbye.


But what's this? It's Robbie, sleeping!


Someone is in his room!




Lettice is impressed.



PART TWO COMING SOON!

Comments

[darkangsty42.livejournal.com]

Weee! (And of course Elizabeth is impressed.)

I love all the "close head" moments. They are indeed sexy.

Ditto about Geoffry Rush. That's what this adaptation is missing.

I love the scene where he's sitting on the throne. First he looks totally in his element, he's reached the top, and just when his face totally falls when he realizes what the cost will be.

Oh Kevin. You picked the best asshole to be. Even if your head is lobbed off.

And d00d, Lettice needs to stop being grabby.

[darkangsty42.livejournal.com]

Oh, and more Ian Hart next time, plz? :) I'll give you cookies!

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

But of course. That man makes me dizzy, and I haven't even had my head close to his.

GOLDEN AGE IN LIKE A FORTNIGHT!!!

Norfolk wins at everything. Apart from the treason thing. But he is certainly hot. And now I think I have to do a Romespam, because TUNICS AND ARMOUR AND NUDITY AND BLOOD.

The next one is basically just me calling Lettice a tramp. Ooh, I had a theory about her, but I shall save it for the big reveal...

[tirwen-star03.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth looks like a man o_O

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Mock all you like, but she's married to James McAvoy.... *is in no way jealous*

[luisadeza.livejournal.com]

Randomly wandered over here from obasc and broke out in squee, because Austrian Guy = Ulrich Thomsen. One of my favourite Danish actors and he looks awesome in this!
Thanks for bringing this to my attention and for the awesome caps!

Oh, and yes, Norfolk is always hot.
And Ian Hart! Aw, he's so cute!

[whywastewords.livejournal.com]

OMGZ! It's Lucious Verenis what's off that ROME show! By Jove, so he DOES looks angsty and ready-to-pounce ALL the time, and not just in ROME.

I sees that you likes the period telly shows, as I do, so I question thee - have you watched The Tudors? It's just started in mine homeland here, and the ads say, and I quoteth, that it is "bodice-ripping", and it's all intercut with Jonathon Rhys Meyers and his orgasm face. Not sure if I should watch purely on the porn merit alone.

That would be wrong. Yep.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

He is my favourite on Rome... ANGST! And tunics! And phnar.

I do like the occasional costume drama, I must admit. I haven't seen The Tudors yet- BBC2 tells me it is coming 'this autumn', which is helpful. JRM's orgasm face... That is a truly frightening thought. But it does have Henry Cavill and Padraic Delaney in, and it looks a bit kinky.

Hey, if they're selling it as porn it's totally not your fault. It's the advertising corrupting our minds!

[agguss.livejournal.com]

Oh, you and your picspams &hearts. The Virgin Queen is a great production, I really enjoyed it.
She expresses her rage through vandalism
Hahahah :D

I miss my Geoffrey.
LOL at Lettice being and not being impressed.
I really want to know why all Norfolk are sexy.
And pale sickly wife is Miss Darcy! ...looking pale..and sick xD

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

:D

The Golden Age is out really soon, though! And that is a righteous icon.

I want to know too! Who can we ask?

I'd attempt to look pale and sickly myself if I thought I'd get to touch Colin Firth and Tom Hardy. *shakes fist*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_faeriequeen/]

Ooh lurvely! Men in ruffs = good.
Also, yay for unexpected Jason Watkins in the 'bitchslapping Parliament' cap! :)

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

The ruff thing really shouldn't be as good as it is. I really hope I don't ever end up in therapy, because there would be some weird shit getting discussed...

I know! He's in it more, but my photobucket is dying so I was saving space for the attractive people. The other wedding planner from Confetti pops up later, though!

[betteroffer.livejournal.com]

Dexter Fletcher is such a cool name! Although it does vaguely sound like a type of poison, or perhaps a make of hoover. And Sweaty Tennis sound absolutely filthy.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? I might write to him, suggesting he locks his brand down, possibly with a range of hoovers.

You know who should play Sweaty Tennis? THE HISTORY BOYS.

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

*lusts after Tom Hardy* good god, that boy is hot!

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

*nods vaguely in agreement, eyes still fixed on the sexy sexy pictures*

He really is.

[artemislives.livejournal.com]

SO. MUCH. LOVE. &hearts

I have the urge to watch this again right now REALLY badly:)

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

I do love this version of her life, not least because Hans Matheson totally pwns Hugh Dancy as Essex.

Ohh, Robert Dudley. You're such a historical hottie, you jerk.

[three-nails.livejournal.com]

Your picspams are the best =D. I need to see this, right?

And OMG Prince Turveydrop Bryan Dick, I LOVE him!!

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

See it. It is awesome.

BLEAK HOUSE FTW!!! Prince's hair is fabulous, although I have a major thing for Allan Woodcourt. Grrr.

ALSO, I'M HALF WAY THROUGH ECLIPSE!!!!!

[templa-otmena.livejournal.com]

We must watch the end of 'Band of Brothers' asap to continue this Hardy worship. I must also teach my computer how to do this :D Wonderful job xXx

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

YES! And we could also maybe watch the Mac episode again (BURNS TOO BRIGHT!). And the one with the doctor. And your Sweeney Todd DVD.

Eeep! at your icon. WHEN IS IT STARTING I WANT TO WATCH IT NOOOOOOOW.

[psychie.livejournal.com]

Gosh I fancy Tom Hardy.

&&&&&

Hans Matheson.

&&&&

'Tommy'....but I don't fancy him.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

He is rather fanciable, isn't he? And that voice! *swoons dramatically*

Especially Hans Matheson in these costumes. Oh my.

Ohhh, I watched Rome. I definitely fancy him. Not in Trainspotting, though. Poor Tommy :(

[piyo-halliwell.livejournal.com]

I gotta stop reading these things, lol, because now I have to go out and get this.

But man, am I not used to Tom Hardy with hair. And he's so clean.

[edge-of-night.livejournal.com]

historical drama picspams FTW!!!

Oh look, it's Bryan Dick, randomly being executed! *waves*
LOL!! That was completely random! *Hello my little Master & Commander* friend.*

Dexter Fletcher is in this movie??? Yes, he IS teh awesome! I enjoyed his caps in here. Digging the hair. But then, of course, he has pretty much had lovely hair in everything except Band of Brothers. Mm, yes, Johnny Martin and war.

Hey now, isn't Pale Sickly Wife Georgiana Darcy in Colin Firth's Pride & Prejudice? It looks a lot like her!

I can't wait 'til part deux!!

[last-archangel.livejournal.com]

Lettice is not impressed.

I wouldn't be that impressed if my name were Lettice either.

Although she really should cheer up. She was Jill Valentine!

[maribarbola.livejournal.com]

ooooh, I need to get this miniseries!!! *Is gonna beg her mum for buying it via amazon, because the shops in her country suck for not having it* It has pretty dresses *is in love with the breakup dress and the dress Elizabeth wears when she is told of Robert's death*, Kevin Mckidd, Ian Hart, and HANS MATHESON!!!!!!!!

And I'm not forgetting Tom Hardy, of whom I hadn't heard about before, but is SMEXY...

seriously, I need this... And thanks for the picspam, btw

[savepureness.livejournal.com]

so dude.
like i was saying.
he killed me yesterday, you're killing me today.
i am now speaking from the grave.