Fic: Breaktime (Teddy/Victoire)
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sophieisgodTitle: Breaktime
Rating: R, for naughty happenings
Word count: 608
Summary: February 2018. Teddy and Victoire make use of a stockroom.
Okay, this is my first time writing anything even vaguely smutty, so I NEED concrit. I need you to say "that's not how you spell 'throbbing'" and "legs don't bend like that!" DO NOT allow me to continue writing bad smut. Also, I stole a line from Joss Whedon. Oh, and if you are![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ipreferballet, AVERT YOUR EYES AND PRESS BACKSPACE RIGHT NOW. That is all.
They came crashing through the stockroom door, kissing blindly.
Teddy kicked it shut, then paused for a moment; letting go of Victoire with one hand, he grasped for his wand and Imperturbed the door as quickly as he could.
Catching sight of her impish grin, he warned, “Don’t think I won’t bite you.”
“I dare you,” she said, the challenge in her eyes. Ohh, Merlin.
“I thought they’d never sod off,” he said, hoarsely, cursing the few odious third years who weren’t in Madam Puddifoot’s, and who had been idling in the shop for the past hour and a half. Victoire had leant over the counter, tormenting him in other, more silent ways, smirking as his hair went mental.
“Mmm,” she agreed, as she pulled at his magenta robes. Teddy shed them with more speed than was decent.
“Mmm,” he said vaguely, as she pulled her jumper up over her head. Wow.
“Teddy?” She seemed to be trying not to laugh.
“Mmm?” He slipped a long finger under one strap and slipped it down her shoulder.
“I missed you,” she said, and kissed him.
“Mmm,” he said after a few dizzying moments, and took a shaky breath. “How have you always got freckles? It’s February. Who has freckles in February?”
Sexy silence was not Teddy’s strong point. Victoire knew this, and did not bother to respond. She did, however, lick her lips. Ohh, Merlin.
“Right,” said Teddy, and his voice cracked slightly. “Time for some thrilling heroics.” With what he hoped was a suitably masterful gesture, he swept one of the counters clear. Something at the back of his mind told him that he’d have to tidy up before George got back from lunch, but at this moment he really, really didn’t care.
“It’s a good thing I’m easily impressed,” said Victoire, and Teddy couldn’t help agreeing as he kissed her again. It still surprised him sometimes, how simple this was; that her tongue would be in his mouth, and his hand would be in her bra, and it wouldn’t feel weird at all. They could do this, the two of them. They were doing this. Ohh, Merlin.
They were walking backwards, shuffling, tripping over boxes. She gave a sort of amused yelp into his kiss as he lifted her onto the counter.
Her hands were all over his back. He pushed her skirt up around her hips and tugged down her delicate knickers, flinging them off to the side; he didn’t pause to admire the undeniably comedic way that they fluttered to land atop a cage of excited Pygmy Puffs. Victoire’s legs went around his waist as he pushed into the warmth of her. He was still for a moment, her gasp hot against the side of his neck, then he began to move, slowly, carefully. Her hips rolled up to meet him, and he groaned; abandoning any semblance of modest restraint, his arms were tight around her, pulling her against him, and they were moving together. And then everything got a bit blurry.
Victoire’s head fell back, and he kissed her throat. He felt her pulse jumping, as fast as his.
Something funny happened to the muscles in his shoulders as she tugged on his earlobe with her teeth.
He lowered his head and traced across the top of her (freckled) breasts with his tongue, licking at the sheen of sweat.
Her fingers tightened in his hair, and he heard her cry out from far away as the universe exploded behind his eyes, and then they were kissing again, like oxygen.
As their breathing slowed, Victoire leaned her forehead against his, and whispered, “Happy Valentine’s day.”
Rating: R, for naughty happenings
Word count: 608
Summary: February 2018. Teddy and Victoire make use of a stockroom.
Okay, this is my first time writing anything even vaguely smutty, so I NEED concrit. I need you to say "that's not how you spell 'throbbing'" and "legs don't bend like that!" DO NOT allow me to continue writing bad smut. Also, I stole a line from Joss Whedon. Oh, and if you are
ipreferballet, AVERT YOUR EYES AND PRESS BACKSPACE RIGHT NOW. That is all.They came crashing through the stockroom door, kissing blindly.
Teddy kicked it shut, then paused for a moment; letting go of Victoire with one hand, he grasped for his wand and Imperturbed the door as quickly as he could.
Catching sight of her impish grin, he warned, “Don’t think I won’t bite you.”
“I dare you,” she said, the challenge in her eyes. Ohh, Merlin.
“I thought they’d never sod off,” he said, hoarsely, cursing the few odious third years who weren’t in Madam Puddifoot’s, and who had been idling in the shop for the past hour and a half. Victoire had leant over the counter, tormenting him in other, more silent ways, smirking as his hair went mental.
“Mmm,” she agreed, as she pulled at his magenta robes. Teddy shed them with more speed than was decent.
“Mmm,” he said vaguely, as she pulled her jumper up over her head. Wow.
“Teddy?” She seemed to be trying not to laugh.
“Mmm?” He slipped a long finger under one strap and slipped it down her shoulder.
“I missed you,” she said, and kissed him.
“Mmm,” he said after a few dizzying moments, and took a shaky breath. “How have you always got freckles? It’s February. Who has freckles in February?”
Sexy silence was not Teddy’s strong point. Victoire knew this, and did not bother to respond. She did, however, lick her lips. Ohh, Merlin.
“Right,” said Teddy, and his voice cracked slightly. “Time for some thrilling heroics.” With what he hoped was a suitably masterful gesture, he swept one of the counters clear. Something at the back of his mind told him that he’d have to tidy up before George got back from lunch, but at this moment he really, really didn’t care.
“It’s a good thing I’m easily impressed,” said Victoire, and Teddy couldn’t help agreeing as he kissed her again. It still surprised him sometimes, how simple this was; that her tongue would be in his mouth, and his hand would be in her bra, and it wouldn’t feel weird at all. They could do this, the two of them. They were doing this. Ohh, Merlin.
They were walking backwards, shuffling, tripping over boxes. She gave a sort of amused yelp into his kiss as he lifted her onto the counter.
Her hands were all over his back. He pushed her skirt up around her hips and tugged down her delicate knickers, flinging them off to the side; he didn’t pause to admire the undeniably comedic way that they fluttered to land atop a cage of excited Pygmy Puffs. Victoire’s legs went around his waist as he pushed into the warmth of her. He was still for a moment, her gasp hot against the side of his neck, then he began to move, slowly, carefully. Her hips rolled up to meet him, and he groaned; abandoning any semblance of modest restraint, his arms were tight around her, pulling her against him, and they were moving together. And then everything got a bit blurry.
Victoire’s head fell back, and he kissed her throat. He felt her pulse jumping, as fast as his.
Something funny happened to the muscles in his shoulders as she tugged on his earlobe with her teeth.
He lowered his head and traced across the top of her (freckled) breasts with his tongue, licking at the sheen of sweat.
Her fingers tightened in his hair, and he heard her cry out from far away as the universe exploded behind his eyes, and then they were kissing again, like oxygen.
As their breathing slowed, Victoire leaned her forehead against his, and whispered, “Happy Valentine’s day.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 12:38 am (UTC)I've just picked out my Top *counts* Three bits here-
'smirking as his hair went mental.'
I love the word 'mental'. In fandom no matter who says it, Ron says it. The idea of Teddy's hair going mental is just- ngghghhghg.
'Sexy silence was not Teddy’s strong point. Victoire knew this, and did not bother to respond.'
Teddy Lupin has invaded my mind and soul.
“Right,” said Teddy, and his voice cracked slightly. “Time for some thrilling heroics.” With what he hoped was a suitably masterful gesture, he swept one of the counters clear.
THE Bit. This is gorgeous with a touch of Remus.
And to finish off I'd like top emphasise that this is amazing smut xXx
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Date: 2007-09-18 12:53 am (UTC)I love you, by the by. xXx
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Date: 2007-09-18 01:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 06:38 am (UTC)Will be back this afternoon with a proper comment, right now I have to be off to school.
But, let me say that whoever commeted above *waves* was SO RIGHT about "This is gorgeous with a touch of Remus." re: the counter bit. EEE.
Also, my HP knowledge has been refreshed because of you. Because I thought WWW was in Diagon Alley so I went a-searching for info and then read about them saying in HBP that they were thinking of buying Zonko's. I had completely forgotten that. Multiple branches ftw!
And I LOVE the fact that Teddy is working in the shop and they meet there and OOO IT'S SO CLEVER. And also GENIUS because you said in the "Revision" one that Teddy was working in the shop. ALL OF THE STORIES LINK, YAY.
Right really must be off now. Toodles!
Also, the "Title:" bit says Revision again instead of Breaktime.
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Date: 2007-09-18 11:50 am (UTC)Education through smut! It is the future. And woop, continuity!
*massive relief, hugs*
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Date: 2007-09-18 05:45 pm (UTC)LOL, I do that all the time. And also, if I'm writing an essay and talking to someone at the same time, I have a tendency to add completely random words from the conversation into the essay instead of what I am actually meant to be writing. Like I'll write "shopping" instead of "sonnet" or something =P D'oh
CONTINUITY WINS.
Okay, continuing review-y comment:
I completely flailed inwardly when I read this. Nice hook, lol!
Again, FLAIL. For kissing and passionate!Teddy! Woooooot.
Firstly: Oo-er! Secondly: HAIR EEEE. Nice touch.
I'm all for indecent!Teddy.
Awwwwwwww =) See, this isn't that smutty. It's all cute too!
Aww, it's sad that they haven't seen eachother for so long =( You should write angsty fic when they are not together and are both thinking about eachother, mhm.
Heh, this was fun. You can just hear the groan in Teddy's mind with the "Ohh, Merlin". And she's not wasting her time, is she? Well, neither would I...=P (what? It's TEDDY, for Christ's sake!)
I seriously love him. This is SO CUTE but also sort of REALL SEXY at the same time. I hope my S.O. (if I do manage to clinch one eventually...) sweeps a counter for me at some point. I really do.
LOL somehow I missed this part this morning.
I'm not going to quote the rest, because it could get a bit awkward really couldn't it. But I thought it was very well done, not too much or too little, just right.
Really liked the universe-exploding bit with the oxygen metaphor et al.
AWWW THEY'RE LOVELY.
Very well done *applause*
I think I'm going to write the Teddy (and slightly Teddy/Vic, if you'll allow! I don't want to encroach on your mastered territory) fic that's been on my mind in a plotbunny-esque style ever since I did the map one. I very nearly started writing it in one of my frees today, but work got in the way =/
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Date: 2007-09-18 05:56 pm (UTC)Ohh, Teddy is all over my brain being indecent with his hair. It is most inconvenient.
See, this isn't that smutty. It's all cute too!
I don't think I could face writing actual, proper, characterless smut. Hopefully this was still pretty IC. Teddy will always be a little bit gormeless when it comes to Victoire, bless him. :)
You should write angsty fic when they are not together and are both thinking about eachother, mhm.
This is now on my list, right after post-smut-awkwardness in a field.
WRITE IT WRITE IT WRITE IT! If we work fast we can take over T/V fandom! Care to give away any details?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 06:03 pm (UTC)DON'T REMIND ME! *groans and bashes head against wall*
Yes, it was definitely IC. It definitely stands alongside the other fics you've done, no question.
(BTW, I just read the "Afterwards" fic - SQUEEE!! My only issue was that it was TOO SHORT!! But...what could you do, really...lol. It was for a challenge after all. Also, - for timeline purposes - when do you suppose it is set? Sorry, I'm a chronology-freak about these things, I have to know when stuff happened in relation to other stuff!)
OH so there is more than the drabble? I thought that was it, you see. Yay, now I am excited.
Oooh LET'S!! Owning a fandom would be fun. Details-wise...erm, well, it involves The Shrieking Shack and spans Teddy's whole time at Hogwarts, in little spurts. I think, anyway.
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Date: 2007-09-18 06:48 pm (UTC)And I *think* the PSAIAF will end not in the field, but at King's Cross, i.e. "Nineteen Years Later." I think. Possibly.
Yay, Shack! Is this the one that turned into PoA crying or is it something different?
Also, hee! 'spurts'
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Date: 2007-09-18 06:54 pm (UTC)What did PSAIAF stand for again? I know this, I do. I'm guessing the last three are "In A Field".
...There was one that turned into PoA crying??? Is this a conversation we had that I don't remember?? Refresh my memory.
QUESTION: How old are James Potter and Hugo Weasley in the Epilogue, do you think? I'm guessing James was starting either his second or third year. I'm going with third, for purposes of the fic. Hugo isn't so important, but I'm curious anyway =P Younger or slightly older than Lily, do you think?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 07:00 pm (UTC)I'm sure there was something that you refused to post/abandoned because it all got too angsty, and then you said there was crying, and then I asked whether it was you crying or Teddy crying like DanRad in PoA, and then you said Teddy crying like DanRad in PoA. Possibly.
I'll agree with third, because why the devil not? But then, Ginny said 'last year', which would imply that was his first year... It's open. Is Lily a year or two younger than Al? I reckon Hugo and Lily are probably in the same year, but I'd guess Hugo was maybe younger? I don't know. The book's upstairs, and I am lazy.
Speaking of DanRad, he designed a kid's chair for Habitat! (http://www.habitat.co.uk/fcp/product/browse/Magic-Chair/988458) How random.
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Date: 2007-09-18 07:09 pm (UTC)Oh, okay, lol that was fairly obvious wasn't it. I thought PSAIAF referred to the series of ficlets as a whole, you see =)
I know, I thought that about the "last year" thing, but to me James just seems older than a second year. And the "last year" thing is in response to "James says most people only get letters from home once a month", so "last year" doesn't necessarily it was his first year. Although, you'd think THREE TIMES A WEEK is a bit excessive for someone who's not in their first year. Meh, I don't know. But what the hell, he is in his third year in my fanon universe. Which means he can be in his first year in Teddy's last year, which fits nicely.
OH WAIT. Crap I just thought of a plothole. First years don't go to Hogsmeade, do there. OH THAT'S ANNOYING. Because it affects the Victoire bit too. ...MEH.
OH no LOL this is not the PoA crying fic. That was the same one as the smut fic (only it was a different part of it...don't worry...) ie. THE ONE THAT WE DO NOT SPEAK OF AGAIN.
This one will hopefully be better.
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Date: 2007-09-18 07:14 pm (UTC)That was the same one as the smut fic (only it was a different part of it...don't worry...)
BWAHAHAHA! If we ever collaborate, I think it should be on smut which involves crying like DanRad in PoA, and it should all me overly melodramatic, and it would be AWESOME.
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Date: 2007-09-18 07:58 pm (UTC)Is James a Gryffindor? I think so.
Is Teddy a Gryffindor? Did you decide what you thought in the end? Is Victoire a Gryffindor? Oh man they can't ALL be Gryffindors! But T and V have to be in the same house otherwise my fangirl heart will not be happy. *OMG visions of falling asleep together infront of the fireplace in the common room on a cold winter's night. Okay, that's next on my fic-list.*
You know what, I think Teddy might be a Hufflepuff. But I don't think Victoire is...OH this is haaaard.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 08:02 pm (UTC)You can tell I'm getting a great start on that schoolwork can't you =P
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Date: 2007-09-18 08:06 pm (UTC)She totally wears the trousers.
Fandom > Qualifications. True story.
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Date: 2007-09-18 08:13 pm (UTC)COMPLETE WORD.
....OKAY YOU CONVINCED ME. Especially with the sneaking-in idea. Teddy is more like Tonks, I agree. With the clumsiness (esp. in the pranking fic, hee!)
OMG OMG *complete cheesy fangirl idea but it just came to me like a bolt of lightning <-nice simile!!*
WHAT IF...Victoire is a Gryffindor Chaser (5th year) and Teddy is a Hufflepuff Beater (7th year) and they are both in a Quidditch match against each other. AND SOMETHING HAPPENS like Teddy sees Victoire is about to get hit and even though she's not on his team he shoots off towards the Bludger and saves her and stuff! And she realises and *swoon*. YEAH, I'M WRITING THAT. I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S COMPLETE ACTION!FLUFF.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 11:49 pm (UTC)*bounces*
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Date: 2007-09-18 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 06:37 am (UTC)I demand (politely) more =]
This is DEFINITELY not bad smut.
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Date: 2007-09-29 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-27 08:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-07 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-14 02:57 am (UTC)and i just now decided that any guy who used that joss line on me would totally get a shag. even if i'm more of a mal girl than a jayne girl, suddenly that line is hot.
and i looove teddy's hair "going mental" with her teasing. ah-dor-ah-bul. srsly.
i was never a fan of nextgen!fic at all until right now. you've made me a fan of teddy/victoire. awesome. :)