sophieisgod | Past The Point Of No Return... (Reply)

So, it would appear that the picspam has replaced the meme as the preferred method of boredom prevention. This is probably a good thing, although it is hella time-consuming.

This picspam was brought to you by the letters Phantom Of The Opera.

This is a sepia opera house.

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This is a black-and-white young man in unflattering prosthetics.

This is a monkey.

But never mind all that, because years earlier there was colour! And the awesomeness of the Simon Callow-Ciaran Hinds tag team.

This is the aforementioned young man unhindered by prosthetics. Note his youthful hair.

These are ballet dancers. The dark-haired one is more important, but the casting of the blonde is hilarious to British people, because she used to be in Brookside.

These are the costumes worn by the ballet dancers, because Andrew Lloyd Webber is a bit of a pervert.

This is Christine being sad after Raoul (the one with the youthful hair) ignores her.

This is Carlotta, the Diva. She is displeased.

Someone else must sing her role. But who?

Oh, okay. Is it wrong that I totally want this dress?

Now that she's famous, Raoul remembers her!

This is Christine's dead father, about whom she has some rather serious issues.

Anyway, Raoul turns up and they flirt.

Then they hug, and Christine tries not to choke on his youthful mane.

Later that night, Christine hears a mysterious noise.

There appears to be a masked man inside her mirror, beckoning to her.

Because he is played by Gerard Butler and is therefore HOT, she does the rational thing and goes with him.

He proceeds to seduce her using the age-old combination of synths, dry ice, and a tour of the sewers.

Um, he has an underground lair.

And I think he put something in the dry ice, because Christine now looks like this...

By the way, there is now way she was about to go to bed in stockings, a corset, and hair this coiffed. Artistic licence, much?

Anyway, they have chemistry...

And it's all going swimmingly until he shows her the lifesize model he made of her in a wedding dress, she passes out, and has to be placed in a bed shaped like a giant bird. I think we've all been there...

Hey, it's that monkey again! What does it mean? I don't know.

Christine wakes up and, understandably, wants to touch Gerard Butler.

Bad idea! He is disfigured and cranky.

Playtime's over, Christine.

Meanwhile, these two continue to be awesome.

Unlike Raoul, who is a whiny bitch.

And Carlotta, who is once again stroppy.

Anyway, because they don't do what Gerard Butler tells them to do, this happens:

Christine and Raoul, instead of removing themselves from the dangerous opera house, have a love scene on the roof. Because they are clever.

Gerard Butler is upset by this.

Six months later, and the opera house is getting down with its bad self because Gerad Butler has been lying low.

Christine and Raoul are showing their smarts and keeping their secret engagement a secret by hanging a gigantic ring around her neck and kissing in public. There's no way their children are going to college.

But Gerard Butler totally kills the mood by turning up in a way better costume than Raoul's.

He looks this hot AND he can do magic? Raoul, you may as well go home right now.

Gerard Butler leaves, but not before spotting Christine's cunningly concealed engagement ring.

Christine goes to visit her father's grave, as if she wasn't confused enough already, and Raoul follows her. He literally charges in on a white horse. Subtle, Joel Schumacher.

Then he has a sword fight with Gerard Butler.

Raoul persuades Christine to put herself in mortal peril and act as bait, in order to lure Gerard Butler out into the open. He's such a great boyfriend.

Gerard Butler has written a musical! It's a bit kinky.

He appears, looking like this:

Understandably, Christine makes this face:

Understandably, Raoul makes this face:

Oh my...

Having learned nothing from her earlier jaunt to the sewer, Christine does this:

Gerard Butler is so cranky that he trashes a chandelier.

Oh, and abducts Christine.

Can anyone explain the point of the 'hand at the level of your eye' thing? Thanks.

During a misguided attempt to rescue Christine, Raoul falls in the underground lake and gets wet.

Then this happens:

Christine totally kisses Gerard Butler, but then he sets her free because he loves her.

Then, for reasons unclear to many, she gives him the ring of secret engagement that Raoul gave to her.

Then she makes this face, because she will never get to sex Gerard Butler.

Gerard Butler expresses his confusion through vandalism.

Monkey!

From this point on, I shall be attempting to prove to my mother that Gerard Butler is more attractive than Michael Crawford.

Cape!

Job done.

Slightly odd picture, but an excellent shot of Gerry's legs.

A few shots of Raoul, if you like that sort of thing. I think it's mainly the hair that puts me off. Patrick Wilson's actually rather attractive in Little Children.