My Kingdom For A Picspam...

[sophieisgod]

Shakespeare + hot fellas = PHNAR

So, The Merchant Of Venice. We have Kris Marshall, Charlie Cox (because I told three_nails I would), Jeremy Irons and a rather greasy Joseph Fiennes. Enjoy!


So, this is Shylock. He isn't very pretty, so there will be few pictures of him.


This is Antonio. And I know there's some Jeremy Irons lovers on the flist *coughaggusscough*, so I feel no shame in the face that I find him really rather sexy. Even if he does break the 'older than my dad' rule.


Antonio has manly gay unrequited love for Bassanio, who is Joseph Fiennes. Why hasn't he been properly attractive since the late 90s?






This is Lorenzo. He is played by Charlie Cox, and is therefore ADORABLE.




Seriously, for a man in his sixties, The Irons is looking good in that open-necked shirt.




Hee! Bassanio's posse. They look badass in capes, yo.


This is Gratiano. When exactly did Kris Marshall get sexy? He wasn't sexy in My Family. Well, maybe he was, but in a vaguely special needs sort of way. Anyway, phnar.




NECK PORN




Bassanio, brooding. He does this quite a lot.


Bassanio, being slightly rakish with a cup. He is quite greasy, isn't he?


I want to give Antonio a hug.


Bassanio inadvertently taunts Antonio with his crotch...


...And with his lady. Now, Lynn Collins, playing Portia, does look a little bit like a vacant cat, but she does have very nice hair.


Bassanio flirts Antion into submission until he gives him money to go and win his lady.


And then MAN KISSING!


See? Nice hair.


Grr, Kris Marshall.




I'm not sure why he's wearing that hat, but I think I love him.


Mackenzie Crook, randomly.


And again, now with comedy costume.


This is Jessica. She's Shylock's daughter and Lorenzo's ladyfriend.


Have I mentioned that Lorenzo is ADORABLE? Because he very is.


More Gratiano, loafing sexily.


Oh, I just want to give him a hug. But, like, a dirty hug. I also want Stardust to be released in the UK, already.






LOOK AT THAT SMILE!


*melts*




Eep!


Awww. And also NECK PORN!






Hee! Silly clothes.


Hee! Silly face.


Seriously. Sexy.


So, Bassanio cleverly solves the puzzle thing that means he can marry Portia. But, look at the left of the cap. I WANT TO BE GRABBED BY KRIS MARSHALL, PLEASE.


Okay, I like this. Manly pose, bit of chest... Nice.


Kissing!


Actually, Joseph Fiennes looks much better in profile. I think it's because his nostrils are rather unfortunate from the front.


Oop! Gratiano wants to marry someone too!


Man, Kris Marshall looks like such a good kisser. And that's quite a creepy observation to make.


PHNAR


Yay, Lorenzo! He brings a wife, and bad news.




Antonio's gone broke, having borrowed money from Shylock, who now wants a pound of flesh. Everyone is sad.


(Brooding!)




So, the boys head back to Venice to sort it out, but Lorenzo stays to run Portia's house. Look how awesome his cape is!


Ach, this scene is too cute to spam over.




LIP-BITING!








So, Antonio's in court.


He is sad, both because he is in court and because his boy doesn't love him.


Court makes people hug, angrily.


Portia shows up, in drag. This is way less kinky than it was when Viola did it in Twelfth Night.


Jermey Irons agrees with me.


RAGE FACE


Looks like Antonio's going to be losing some weight pretty quickly...


Random courtroom cuteness


Manly courtroom weeping


Okay, now Antonio is STRAPPED into the chair.


Steady on, lads! This is a PG!


Al Pacino, being awesome.


Anyway, Shylock is outwitted by girls, who then outwit their husbands. Bassanio and Antonio share a lingering look.


Gratuitous lesbian kissing!


Aww, Lorenzo.


Profile!Fiennes!


And now, let us drop the curtain on Delicious Kris Marshall


Exeunt

Comments

[curlybeach.livejournal.com]

Capes! Brooding! Brooding incapes! Cape-y brooding! AND KRIS MARSHALL NECK!PORN OMG.

Ahem. Was directed here from obasc [one day I will post a picspam of my own, that will match up to the wonders of yours and others over there], and this picspam made me squee and flail rather too much.

Jeremy Irons can't be that sexy. It makes my brain hurt. HE IS OLD. BUT SEXY. *explodes*

I think I've only found JFeinnes sexy in Shakey in Love, and possibly Martha, meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence ... though I agree that he looks better in profile.

And did I mention ... KRIS MARSHALL.
When exactly did Kris Marshall get sexy? He wasn't sexy in My Family. Well, maybe he was, but in a vaguely special needs sort of way. Anyway, phnar.
I found him oddly attractive in My Family, and felt awful for soing so, because I think it was in an 'Awwwh, he needs his mouth wiping' kind of way. But I agree with the 'phnar' sentiment. In fact, 'phnar' may be my new favourite word.

^_______________^

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Capes and NECK PORN and brooding are all good things :D Especialy the NECK PORN.

DO IT! The internet needs more picspam!

Jeremy Irons has been sent to try us. Like in Lolita. HE IS A PAEDOPHILE. BUT SEXY. That film is proof that I should not base my moral judgements on the hotness of men.

Shakespeare In Love, and Elizabeth. I remember I got so excited when I heard he was in Enemy At The Gates, and then he turned up with dodgy glasses and a weird face. Pfff.

KRIS MARSHALL INDEED. I think I'm going to go and rewatch Love Actually to see if Colin, God Of Sex has a tasty neck also.

I think it was in an 'Awwwh, he needs his mouth wiping' kind of way.
Hee! And phnar.