Delusions Of Grandeur
Jan. 22nd, 2007 01:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sophieisgodI have a problem with capitalisation. Particularly with regard to titles. I don't know if it's a desire for a vague sort of symmetry, but I don't feel comfortable writing a title unless all the words have capital letters. Even words which really don't need them, like 'of'. Even on iTunes, I have to manually change the song titles. That takes a while, I can tell you.
All of which is besides the point. It's just a way of easing myself in gently to what I hope will be the cathartic process of actually keeping a journal. Over the years I've repeatedly tried, and failed, to maintain a diary, usually at times of optimum angst, and they've all fizzled out. I don't know what draws me to it over and over again; perhaps it's the desire to be absolutely honest with someone, anyone. Perhaps I've romanticised the notion so much over the years that it's become my Holy Grail, although if that was really the case I should be sitting down at my desk with a luxurious notebook bound in rose coloured satin, writing with a fountain pen, in blue ink. I think the main reason has more to do with my desire to prove that my life contains something inherently important, something I can capture by writing it down. Will the act of writing elevate my life? I don't know. I think so. I hope so.
Side note: I am torn, in this era of increasing American influence, as to my lexical choices. 'Capitalisation' or 'capitalization'? 'Romanticising' or 'romanticizing'? I'm drawn to the softer, sibilant 's', whether out of a misplaced sense of national pride, or my aesthetic leaning. Fuck it.
All of which is besides the point. It's just a way of easing myself in gently to what I hope will be the cathartic process of actually keeping a journal. Over the years I've repeatedly tried, and failed, to maintain a diary, usually at times of optimum angst, and they've all fizzled out. I don't know what draws me to it over and over again; perhaps it's the desire to be absolutely honest with someone, anyone. Perhaps I've romanticised the notion so much over the years that it's become my Holy Grail, although if that was really the case I should be sitting down at my desk with a luxurious notebook bound in rose coloured satin, writing with a fountain pen, in blue ink. I think the main reason has more to do with my desire to prove that my life contains something inherently important, something I can capture by writing it down. Will the act of writing elevate my life? I don't know. I think so. I hope so.
Side note: I am torn, in this era of increasing American influence, as to my lexical choices. 'Capitalisation' or 'capitalization'? 'Romanticising' or 'romanticizing'? I'm drawn to the softer, sibilant 's', whether out of a misplaced sense of national pride, or my aesthetic leaning. Fuck it.
