My Kingdom For A Picspam...

[sophieisgod]

Shakespeare + hot fellas = PHNAR

So, The Merchant Of Venice. We have Kris Marshall, Charlie Cox (because I told three_nails I would), Jeremy Irons and a rather greasy Joseph Fiennes. Enjoy!


So, this is Shylock. He isn't very pretty, so there will be few pictures of him.


This is Antonio. And I know there's some Jeremy Irons lovers on the flist *coughaggusscough*, so I feel no shame in the face that I find him really rather sexy. Even if he does break the 'older than my dad' rule.


Antonio has manly gay unrequited love for Bassanio, who is Joseph Fiennes. Why hasn't he been properly attractive since the late 90s?






This is Lorenzo. He is played by Charlie Cox, and is therefore ADORABLE.




Seriously, for a man in his sixties, The Irons is looking good in that open-necked shirt.




Hee! Bassanio's posse. They look badass in capes, yo.


This is Gratiano. When exactly did Kris Marshall get sexy? He wasn't sexy in My Family. Well, maybe he was, but in a vaguely special needs sort of way. Anyway, phnar.




NECK PORN




Bassanio, brooding. He does this quite a lot.


Bassanio, being slightly rakish with a cup. He is quite greasy, isn't he?


I want to give Antonio a hug.


Bassanio inadvertently taunts Antonio with his crotch...


...And with his lady. Now, Lynn Collins, playing Portia, does look a little bit like a vacant cat, but she does have very nice hair.


Bassanio flirts Antion into submission until he gives him money to go and win his lady.


And then MAN KISSING!


See? Nice hair.


Grr, Kris Marshall.




I'm not sure why he's wearing that hat, but I think I love him.


Mackenzie Crook, randomly.


And again, now with comedy costume.


This is Jessica. She's Shylock's daughter and Lorenzo's ladyfriend.


Have I mentioned that Lorenzo is ADORABLE? Because he very is.


More Gratiano, loafing sexily.


Oh, I just want to give him a hug. But, like, a dirty hug. I also want Stardust to be released in the UK, already.






LOOK AT THAT SMILE!


*melts*




Eep!


Awww. And also NECK PORN!






Hee! Silly clothes.


Hee! Silly face.


Seriously. Sexy.


So, Bassanio cleverly solves the puzzle thing that means he can marry Portia. But, look at the left of the cap. I WANT TO BE GRABBED BY KRIS MARSHALL, PLEASE.


Okay, I like this. Manly pose, bit of chest... Nice.


Kissing!


Actually, Joseph Fiennes looks much better in profile. I think it's because his nostrils are rather unfortunate from the front.


Oop! Gratiano wants to marry someone too!


Man, Kris Marshall looks like such a good kisser. And that's quite a creepy observation to make.


PHNAR


Yay, Lorenzo! He brings a wife, and bad news.




Antonio's gone broke, having borrowed money from Shylock, who now wants a pound of flesh. Everyone is sad.


(Brooding!)




So, the boys head back to Venice to sort it out, but Lorenzo stays to run Portia's house. Look how awesome his cape is!


Ach, this scene is too cute to spam over.




LIP-BITING!








So, Antonio's in court.


He is sad, both because he is in court and because his boy doesn't love him.


Court makes people hug, angrily.


Portia shows up, in drag. This is way less kinky than it was when Viola did it in Twelfth Night.


Jermey Irons agrees with me.


RAGE FACE


Looks like Antonio's going to be losing some weight pretty quickly...


Random courtroom cuteness


Manly courtroom weeping


Okay, now Antonio is STRAPPED into the chair.


Steady on, lads! This is a PG!


Al Pacino, being awesome.


Anyway, Shylock is outwitted by girls, who then outwit their husbands. Bassanio and Antonio share a lingering look.


Gratuitous lesbian kissing!


Aww, Lorenzo.


Profile!Fiennes!


And now, let us drop the curtain on Delicious Kris Marshall


Exeunt

Comments

[three-nails.livejournal.com]

CHARLIE COOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mmmmm, thank you for this =D.

When exactly did Kris Marshall get sexy? He wasn't sexy in My Family. Well, maybe he was, but in a vaguely special needs sort of way.
LOOOL. I saw a couple eps of My Family this summer so I totally know what you're talking about. Also, he's from The Four Feathers and played the most sad, innocent, adorable character and if I ever meet him in real life I will just SQUISH him to death! =)

Lynn Collins is totally Steven Strait's rl girlfriend. So I hate her.

Mackenzie Crook, randomly.
FTW!! It's still so random to me that he is in all the Pirates movies. He just IS Gareth from The Office.

Oh, I just want to give him a hug. But, like, a dirty hug. I also want Stardust to be released in the UK, already.
I AM WITH YOU! And I kinda can't wait for his hottness to be released on the rest of the world/the rest of my flist. He is SOOOOOO ridiculously goofy/adorable/HOTTTTTTT in Stardust.

Wow, Joseph Fiennes is kind of hottt, I think I forgot this.

So I need to see this movie =]. Thanks for the spam!

[sphinxvictorian.livejournal.com]

Actually the best thing I've seen Kris Marshall do, apart from his Gratiano in this film which was wonderful (though his dialogue is cut way down, sadly, the character's funnier in the play), was in Doctor Zhivago as Pasha/Strelnikov. He nearly broke my heart in a couple of the scenes from that.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was so sad! And Hans Matheson was also delicious.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome! :) Oh, Charlie. I yearn to see you in your white Stardust coat.

My Family was so very rubbish after he left. When it started I was kind of obsessed with it, and Kris was perfect. Now, it sucks. But he's more famous, so it's all good!

She's the person that kinda sorta looks like Emily Browning? How random.

I WANT STARDUST NOOOOOOOW! This really isn't fair. *pouts*

Man, when Shakespeare In Love came out I was ridiculously in love with Joseph Fiennes. Because who knew that Shakespeare was so hot? And then Elizabeth! With the sexy dancing! I think I need to rewatch...