THE BAT SPAM

[sophieisgod]

Wow, a post unreleated to Harry Potter. Is it too soon? It feels too soon. Anyway, Batman Begins has rather a lot of Gary Oldman in, so that kind of counts, doesn't it?


So, the son of a Gotham billionare falls down a well...




And gets attacked by bats. Hee.


But it's okay, because in the future he looks like Christian Bale!


Unfortunately, he appears to be in some sort of Far Eastern prison...


He makes friends by totally kicking the shit out of six guys at once. And by 'makes friends', I mean 'gets himself locked in solitary confinement'.




But what's this? It's Liam Neeson! Liam Neeson sets Christian Bale a mysterious flower-based challenge.


After manfully completing his mysterious flower-based challenge, I'm pretty sure Christian Bale was expecting a better prize than a fellow with an odd beard.




Flashback! Young Boy with his parents (is his mum Stella from Sugar Rush?) looking all happy. That won't last...




Told you.


But, y'know, silver linings. Now he gets to have Gary Oldman put a coat around him and touch his face.


Okay, so now we're in the future, but not as far in the future as we were before. In this timeframe, Christian Bale has silly hair like Robert Sean Leonard in Much Ado About Nothing, mmkay?


This is Katie Holmes. She is invariably self-righteous and makes annoying faces. Thankfully, in The Dark Knight, she will be played by Maggie Gyllenhaal.


Annoying face!


Meanwhile, in the future, Christian Bale is totally a better ninja than Liam Neeson.




But then, he finds out The Bearded Man is evil! And blows up the House Of Ninja Learning!


So, he gets on a plane and formulates a Plan.


Because Michael Caine is awesome, he is allowed to make these faces. Katie Holmes, however, is definitely not.


She does not appear to have received this memo.


Even Cillian Murphy recognises how annoying she is, and he is clearly psychotic.


While he begins to implement his Plan, Christian Bale pines for Gary Oldman.




He also enlists the help of Morgan Freeman, because everything is better with Morgan Freeman on board.


"Spelunking." Hee.


Meanwhile, Gary Oldman is feeling blue, because his partner is Gross and Disgusting.




Unable to be parted from Gary Oldman for a moment longer, Christian Bale takes matters into his own hands...




He ensures that his chosen balaclava maximises the impact of his pout.


When this fails to ensare Gary Oldman, Christian Bale resorts to incresingly desperate measures...




He also punishes Gross Disgusting Partner Guy for not being worthy of Gary Oldman.




Oh, and in case you were wondering, Katie Holmes is still annoying and Cillian Murphy is still psychotic.




"I gotta get me one of those!" HERE IS YOUR CLUE, CHRISTIAN BALE!




Meanwhile, the plot has been happening, and it turns out Liam Neeson was the evil one all along! And he totally burns down Christian Bale's house!




Christian Bale finally realises that the way to win Gary Oldman's heart is to give him the keys to the Batmobile. And then Gary Oldman totally saves the day. Because he is AWESOME.






Christian Bale finaly earns the Gary Oldman Wave Of Approval.


Katie Holmes is annoying some more.


And finally, Christian Bale ends this journey the way he always dreamed he would: alone on a rooftop with Gary Oldman.






Cunningly, he has also managed to ensure that he'll get to spend even more time with Gary Oldman in the next film...




Ahh, gratuitous manly goodness...
In Which Christian Bale Looks Vaguely Angsty




Sword!Angst




Flopsy hair!Angst
















In Which Christian Bale Is Delicious In A Suit








"Does it come in black?"




In Which Christian Bale Is Wet












PRESS UPS!






A Little Something I Like To Call 'The Pyjama Sequence'






















Gary Oldman Leaning In A Doorway




Cillian Murphy: Lovable Psycho


I'll just take this moment to apologise for turning Batman Begins into One Man's Quest To Spend Time With Gary Oldman. I guess I'm not quite over Harry Potter yet...

Comments

[psychie.livejournal.com]

I am still convinced I am having Gary's children...

Katie Holmes was the bad thing about BB.

Oh god Cillian.

[bishwop.livejournal.com]

This is weird and freaky, because I have just been staring at Christian bale for approximately 2 hours realising that he looks exactly like how I picture Lupin, albeit slightly younger.

I guess I'm not quite over Harry Potter yet...
Don't worry. Evidently, I'm not either.

Thanks for the picspam! Eye-candy, mmmmm =D

I really need to see Gary Oldman in a film that's not Harry Potter.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

*drools slightly at thought of Bale!Lupin*

The eye-candy is the only thing that will help us through these hard, painful times. Let us cling to it as to a lifebelt.

Oh lord, see State Of Grace. It has Gary and Sean Penn and it's the film that all the youtube people take clips from when they use Penn to represent James! He's so Siriuslike in it, all volatile and long hair and NUZZLING PEOPLE'S NECKS.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Get in line... *takes a moment to remember the naked-under-coat moment from OotP*

Katie Holmes is just, ick. She's been making the same faces since Dawson's Creek.

Mmm, Cillian.

[psychie.livejournal.com]

LULZ, I started the line!! :D

[agguss.livejournal.com]

I loved these. The movie was so much better than I expected, I really liked it. The amount of Bale, Oldman and Neeson was also... wonderful ^_^ I saw this in a private theater and it was so awesome hah.

I just regret Holmes is in it too :/

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Well...*splutters*... I started the picspam!

[psychie.livejournal.com]

Indeed that! :D

*goes and watches Dracula*

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Ahh! I haven't actually seen Dracula! Any good?

*awards you first place in the line*

[psychie.livejournal.com]

*gasp*

You have quite rightly backed down!!

Yes I love ittttt. But it is 'different' and I think Gary {obviously} does a magnificant portrayal.

BALE-UUUTIFUL!!

[woofgal.livejournal.com]

Wonderful work!!

My eyes (and other parts) are in Bat Heaven!! ;-)

[mirandafox.livejournal.com]

over from bale_daily

HEH! Batman Begins was a love story and I never even noticed!

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Ahh, it takes a specially trained eye. ;-)

[mo-shmoe.livejournal.com]

Here from bale_daily. I love that you only capped Katie Holmes when she was making a stupid face. And holy crap, I never noticed that scene where Christian's sitting on the floor with a little glass of orange juice next to his bare feet. I find that intensely erotic.

I award this picspam (especially the pajama sequence) an A++.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Weeeelll, I had maybe 2 of her looking relatively normal, but I thought that their inclusion would be so very jarring that it would ruin the experience for everyone. And I never noticed the orange juice!

Why, thank you!

[clouded-logic.livejournal.com]

Are you very subtly trying to tell us you have a new obsession?

The first time I watched that, I wasn't even sure if it was Gary Oldman. I thought it looked a lot like him, but I wasn't too sure. Don't be disappointed in me!

[ewris.livejournal.com]

Hi! here from bale_daily great picspam for a Sunday evening especially the pyjama Sequence, I love your captions too.

[mo-shmoe.livejournal.com]

Also, do you mind if I friend you? We seem to have a lot of common interests. :)

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Ah, I don't blame you really. Jim Gordon is clearly not as sexy as Sirius.

And it's not my fault! The universe is conspiring against me! I wasn't expecting him to be sexy in OotP! I didn't know Film4 was showing Prick Up Your Ears practically every night! I didn't realise he was in Batman Begins so much until I started capping it! And fair enough, nobody made me use my mother's amazon account to get State Of Grace (which you have to see, btw, he's very young!Sirius in it) and Leon, but still.

It's a very emotional time, Li!

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

You have 'ryan started the fire' as one of your interests! Of course we must be friends! And Toby! And Franz (I've seen them 4 times and they make me swoon hardcore)!

Oh, and if you haven't already, you should check out obasc

[mo-shmoe.livejournal.com]

Sweet!

I've seen Franz a total of zero times. D:

I have indeed witnessed the wonders of obasc.

[clouded-logic.livejournal.com]

Jim Gordon is clearly not as sexy as Sirius.

Whoever thought that would ever need to be clarified? :P

*raises eyebrows* Universe conspiring against you... you haven't smoked anything suspicious over the past few hours, have you? :P

I'm still not particularly expecting him to be sexy in OOTP, but I'm starting to think I should. Be prepared for the ambush of the sexy and all.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

I couldn't smoke even if I wanted to! I think my lungs are wrong. Like, when my friends with asthma had to blow in those lung capacity things, mine was always freakishly low. So it's definitely not that. I don't think.

Oh no, I've built it up too much now! I was overcome because I wasn't really expecting it, but I saw it with people who were, and he was so very lovely, and all the velveteen! I am incoherent. Film!Sirius was a bit different to Book!Sirius, though, and I didn't particularly fancy Book1Sirius in OotP... I've confused myself now.

Actually, it really didn't help matters that they had him and Remus being all couple-y after I'd been binge-reading Shoebox...

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks! *remembers pajamas fondly*

[clouded-logic.livejournal.com]

I have asthma! Um. Just, you know, I like to feel included. :P

Come to think of it, I didn't really like OOTPbook! Sirius that much either. He was all... meh. AND HE DIED. Except for the pensieve scene cos I fancied him like hell for about 5 pages. XD

Uh oh. And now you're encouraging me to read more SBP too... my mind's already poisoned by it enough! (But you just know I'm going to run off and read it all the faster.)