"Just... don't be a prat."

[sophieisgod]

OH GOD, I CRIED A LOT. And I can't even begin to sort it out in my head properly, so the sections are going to be slightly fucked and random.

I loved it, by the way. I know it had problems with pacing and trying to squish too much in and, y'know, lots of other things, but I can't help it.

+ Merlin & Arthur, or, OUCH MY HEART
Ohhh, boys. I love so much about what you choose to be! Just, I love that we once again open with crap-at-hunting!Merlin and banter, only this time we have genuinely-reassuring!Arthur ("It's probably more scared of you than you are of it"). Although, he may be genuinely reassuring, but he is not above flicking Merlin up and down with his eyes, AND THAT IS THE WAY I LIKE IT. Also, he comes back for fallen!Merlin! AND THAT CONCLUDES THE CAREFREE FUNTIMES PORTION OF TONIGHT'S EPISODE.

"He can't die! It's my destiny to protect him! We haven't done all the things we're meant to do!"
"That is the lament of all men."
"Gaius. He's my friend."
UM I CANNOT EVEN. Merlin. Merlin and his breathlessness and his face of complete anguish at all the stuff they haven't done yet. And then he is just so desperate when he goes to see the Slash Dragon, grasping onto whatever he can get and guh, "Whatever the price is, I will pay it gladly." GOD, it makes me hurt SO MUCH whenever Merlin gets all "Arthur's life is worth like a bajillion of mine!" because no, you lovely boy, the point is that you're awesome TOGETHER, and please stop trying to sacrifice yourself because it makes me cryyy.

UM, AND THEN THERE WAS A LOVINGLY AMAZING MONEY SHOT OF ARTHUR'S PALE AND SICKLY GLORIOUS AND HAIRY CHEST WITH AN ASCENDING CAMERA RIG AND SPINNING AND EVERYTHING. Alas, neither templa_otmena nor myself were wearing shirts with buttons, so our "SEEING ALL OF ARTHUR'S CHEST AT ONCE WILL CAUSE OUR TOPS TO SPONTANEOUSLY FALL OFF" theory remains untested.

UM, AND THEN THERE WAS MERLIN CRADLING ARTHUR'S HEAD IN HIS LAP (O HAI THAR BRADLEY'S THROAT).

"The prince lives."
Ach, the way Merlin's face lights up with joy and relief at this news, and he does his adorable head clutch of happiness. And then, he just sort of settles into this serenity and acceptance, like, whatever happens to him next, it doesn't matter, because he's done his job, he's saved Arthur. GOD, SHOW. Like, it doesn't matter what type of love you want to label it as (and personally, in spite of all the delightfully smutty fanfic I've read in this fandom, in the context of the show I reckon Merlin's pretty much as pure as a unicorn at this point), I don't see how anyone could argue that this isn't love.

"I think there's someone watching over me, keeping me from harm."
FLAIL FLAIL FLAIL FLAIL

"I need to say goodbye to Arthur."
THIS SCENE. I cry more every time I watch it, it is ridiculous (ILU iPlayer!). God, this scene just has everything about Merlin and Arthur and Arthur/Merlin that makes me ache a little bit. It's banter and it's Arthur stuffing grapes in his mouth and slouching in a chair all entitled like, but it's also Merlin never being able to say the things he wants to say, and never being able to tell Arthur the truth, and Colin just looks like he's on the verge of tears the entire scene, it kills me. I love these two together so much, but if I stop and think about it for too long it hurts, because there is such a massive imbalance at the heart of their dynamic, and it isn't even the prince/servant thing (that one's mainly just kinky), it's the fact that Merlin knows Arthur, he knows their destiny and he clings to Arthur in all these different ways because of the things he knows, and Arthur is still largely in the dark about what exactly Merlin is to him, and is largely just bemused by his weirdly intense manservant and his prediliction for close talking (RE: WHICH - Merlin holding himself so far away from Arthur in this scene? YET ANOTHER THING THAT KILLS ME). IT MAKES ME SO SO SAD, AND THIS IS WHY I KIND OF NEED ARTHUR TO KNOW ABOUT THE MAGIC ASAP SO WE CAN JUST CUT TO THE SNUGGLING, PLEASE.

+ Merlin & Gaius, or, OUCH MY HEART
Ahhh, they have the best pseudo-father-son relationship everrrr. AND I CRIED AT THE LETTER. Rather a lot. And I had so much stuff I was going to put in this bit, but it's really rather late now, and it was all mostly along the lines of "ohhh, I love them to pieces," so whatever. I JUST LOVE ALL THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS OF HOW MUCH THEY'VE HELPED EACH OTHER. And Gaius! Gaius going to Nimueh was perfect, especially because I'm still kind of fascinated by the murky parts of what exactly his role in the purges was, and how much guilt he has and what he wants to atone for and shit like that. BUT, YEAH, I BASICALLY LOVE THEM A LOT.

+ Uther
The first point at which I actually started hardcore crying? UTHER CARRYING ARTHUR'S BODY, and the broken look on Anthony Head's awesome face, and how he couldn't go on, and there was only the score and it was heartbreaking.

+ Arthur & Gwen - For The Love Of Camelot
Awww, I am loving these two interacting, and I swear it isn't *just* because of the way he says her name. I actually really liked their two scenes; I didn't think they were overtly shippy in a romantic sense (and, for the sake of fairness, no Arthur/Morgana this ep? Where was she while he was, y'know, dying?), which was nice, because I really don't want the show to rush into that any time soon. Gwen's whole "That's what keeps me going" speech made a lot of sense to me, because it didn't seem to be about Arthur As A Person And Gwen's Romantic Feelings For Him, it felt much more like it was about Future King Arthur And How Important It Is That He Exists (hence the hand-kissing), if that makes any sense at all. Out of all the leads, Gwen is the one who has been most hurt by Uther's rule (meep, the look she shot him!). She's the one who was nearly executed, she's the one whose father was killed. This back end of the season, we've seen much more of a politically aware side to her (slotting nicely into my very hazy vision of Social Crusader!Queen Guinevere), so it makes sense that it's her, out of everyone, who sees the importance of Arthur's rule in terms of the effect it will have on the people. And with the second scene, I don't know, Arthur just seems sort of adorably coma-drunk, as opposed to flirty.

Also, I really am kind of obsessed with the way he says her name.

+ Morgana
WOEFULLY UNDERUSED, SAY WHAT. Obviously, yay for prophecy, and for Morgana/Gwen face!touching, but where the devil was she? I didn't really understand what was going on between her and Merlin - why was he so hostile? Is he still pissed off about her regicidal tendencies? Hmmm. I also think this was the most, like, hysterical we've seen here, which makes me wonder if she is for serious going to lose her shit next season and go AWESOMELY POWERFUL AND OFF THE RAILS. This would be epic, but there's still a part of me that wants that not to happen just yet, and for them all to stay a group having adventures in Camelot like a tag team of awesome. Just for a little bit longer.

HOMG THE ENDING! She can hear the dragon! MORGANA KNOWING ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC COULD BE ALL KINDS OF EPIC.

+ DESTINY: Not Just Epic And Gay, Apparently
OHH, SLASH DRAGON, YOU VILE BETRAYER. I actually kind of love this; it's always been slightly weird reconciling Merlin's complete and utter disregard for authority with his willingness to do whatever the dragon tells him to as long as he flings the word 'destiny' in there, so I'm really excited to see what MERLIN: UNLEASHED AND OFF THE CHAIN will do. It's kind of scary how much power he's going to have now, if what Gaius says is true; I'd really like to see him struggle with that in S2, especially if Morgana starts getting shifty. Also, Nimueh! It was so strange, her stuff seemed to tie in really well to the things that had been said before about magic itself being a force for neither good nor evil - it's what you do with it. How weird was it seeing her present herself as Arthur's salvation? VERY WEIRD, AND KIND OF WONDERFUL.

+ Merlin is my favourite ever, basically
FUCKING HELL, COLIN MORGAN IS GOOD. I can't even really talk about his performance because it would just be me gurgling and waving my hands around ineffectually, which doesn't really translate so well to type, but GOD. That whole section, up until he comes back from the Isle of the Blessed the first time, he doesn't quite look mortal - there's this crazy combination of that bone structure and darkened eyes and intensity and resolution and it's perfect, he seems more than human. I think that's kind of what I meant by the whole 'Merlin is as pure as unicorns and also snow!' thing up there - aren't there some versions of the story where Merlin is some sort of hardcore celibate virgin so as not to sully his powers, or something? Anyway, I don't know, he just kind of reminded me of an angel (WHAT THE SHIT AM I TYPING? IT IS LATE, I SHOULD BE ASLEEP NOW. FUCKIN' CONCERT BAND). THE FACES ON THIS SHOW MAKE ME CRAZY, I THINK. Oh! And that whole part where he was just sitting there waiting to die! COLINNNN ♥

I also think Colin Morgan should get wet more often. Camelot needs a pool in S2, maybe? Also, HARDCORE!MERLIN IS INCREDIBLE. It's kind of mindblowing that Colin did all that DRAGON BETRAYAL stuff to a greenscreen, it was so intense.

+ Everybody Lives
Maybe it's because I went into the episode having convinced myself that Gaius was doomed, but I found myself just, like, laughing with sheer relief when he woke up. WHAT IS THIS, I AM USUALLY ALL ABOUT THE ANGST, AND THIS SHOW HAS NO PROBLEMS WITH KILLING PEOPLE. Fuck it, I don't care, Nine is my favourite Doctor anyway - BIG EARS OF "EVERYBODY LIVES!"-RELATED JOY ARE BEAUTIFUL THINGS.

What did you think?